I experienced what I now know is a “dark night of the soul” while living in the swamp - it was challenging, but at the same time liberating, because I was able to learn a lot about myself and discover what was keeping me stuck in many shadow elements of my being. I suffered a lot during this time, mainly because I had no idea what I was experiencing, or how to find balance and relief from this deeply rooted suffering.

I had just expanded my consciousness so far into the light, that I was catapulted equally into the darkness, discovering so much about consciousness, the collective unconscious, and my own demons.

It was this challenging time that I felt the call to serve others through mentorship work and my soul readings. I truly saw the value in this work, through how much it helped me during my dark night of the soul, and how it honestly saved my life. I have struggled with suicidal ideations since the 8th grade, and these dark thoughts became very intense throughout 2022 and 2023.

I felt a very strong pull to move home to Massachusetts in 2023, which began 3 year-long period of healing from the inside out and transcending the limitations I found myself trapped in for years. It felt like I had sort of ran away to Florida - it was my intention to get some space and heal during my time living there, but eventually I felt like I had to stand on my home soil to complete my healing process. During these emotionally and mentally tumultuous times of my journey, I found strength through my work with the Akashic Records, Soul Realignment, and through studying the Gene Keys and many other esoteric bodies of knowledge. I re-integrated into the matrix by taking a job as a lunch lady at my local middle school, and holy shit did I learn SO MUCH. I am still unpacking the many lessons, activations and consciousness upgrades I’ve moved through during the past few years, but I am so grateful for all the life experience these challenges gifted me.

In the Winter & Spring of 2026, I went through a difficult and simultaneous friendship betrayal and ending of a 6.5 year relationship which rattled me to my core and burned my entire life to the ground. I completely started fresh, spent A LOT of time alone getting to know myself, learned how to go deeper with my writing and started singing… all things that were long overdue and destined to happen at that time. Its almost as if going through the insanity that was this life-burning-to-the-ground era of 2025/2026 re-activated my voice, my authenticity and creative spirit… almost like I was rediscovering my voice after being silenced and depressed for years. My passion for music has never left me my entire life, but that spring it really took a next level as I discovered “holy shit, I can actually sing, and in ways I never knew I could”… and this set me off on a mission to find out what else I was capable of, and what is possible for me now.

Following my break up and best friend betrayal experiences, I dove deep into solitude and self discovery, spending my time working and creating. Bands like Led Zeppellin, Matchbox 20, Alice in Chains, Audioslave, Temple of the Dog and Soundgarden (I fell in love with pretty much anything Chris Cornell touched, including the bands surrounding him during the early days of grunge in Seattle), artists like Eric Church and Merle Haggard and of course Mac Miller and Kendrick Lamar all deeply impacted me throughout 2026… its like they shifted and awakened something inside of me, igniting a creative spark I didn’t know I had access to, and truly helping me understand the power of awakening one’s own authenticity and following one’s inspiration every day. My authenticity had been stifled and hidden away for years to hold on to the life I was living - but once I let these things go, or rather was forced to let go through the betrayal and heart break that unfolded that spring, there was nothing left to do but be my true self, because nobody was watching for me to perform for, and there was no fear of judgment or abandonment anymore.

I let it all go - my best friend, many friendships, the romantic relationship I wanted to believe was “the one” (but always somehow knew it wasn’t), the connections that supported me for years and the routines and structure I had built - I allowed it all to burn to the ground, really unsure if anything would ever come to grow in its place or if I had just cast myself into exile forever in favor of my passions, creativity and authentic self expression, possibly making the biggest mistake of my life. Some deeper part of me knew it couldn’t be a mistake, because we never truly lose anything by being real and true to ourselves… but I was still afraid, especially as I spent more and more time alone and lost more friendships. All the while, I reminded myself whatever I let go of was not meant to stay with me, and is making space for what is truly resonant and “meant to be” in my life.

I am catching glimpses now of my new life forming, and all that could potentially come on the other side of this massive death, rebirth and life upgrade that 2026 has gifted to me - and I am beyond excited for the future, while settling into the now, into the new life birthing through me in the present moment. Life is good - and sometimes its shitty too. But I am proud of who I’ve become and all the work it took to get here. It has not been easy AT ALL… but it is beyond worth it.

I’ve found that through my quest to know myself and understand the human experience, I was able to release deeply ingrained patterns and traumatic emotional energies that were keeping me stuck and fragmented in shadowy states of consciousness. I have a warrior spirit - and through the polishing and remembering of my true soul frequency, I have found peace, love, bliss and presence on the Earth plane. There is so much to enjoy in this world, if only we will open our eyes to see.

It is truly my passion to share my experiences and what I have learned with others, and this is why I started my platform “Ancient Esoterica”.